You may be wondering what the deal with this blog is. Do I cook for famous people? Am I a famous mom? Am I actually a real homemaker? I’ll start off by telling you a little bit about myself and how this Hollywood Homemaker thing came about.

At a young age, I was strategically trained by my mother to become the ultimate homemaker, a housewife-ninja if you will. We spent long, grueling days slaving over ratatouille, pot roast, apple pies, and of course, tater tot hotdish. We got up every morning at the crack of dawn to hand-scrub the floors, polish the silver, and iron the underwear of the family. By age 5, I was a mother fucking homemaking prodigy.

I faced some hard times as the other kindergartners teased me, out of jealousy of course, calling me such expletives as Suzy Ho-Maker, Fancy Nancy, BettyFocker…you get the idea. Maybe it was the fact that I dressed like Esther from that movie “Orphan”, or maybe it was the fact that I went around polishing every nook and cranny of the classroom on an hourly basis. Regardless, it took quite a toll on my emotional state.

By age 7, I was in rehab. Age 6 was also a rough year for me with the pressures of the interior design and cleaning businesses I started, and I resorted to a lonely life riddled with booze and Vicodin. After my parents realized I had not cleaned my room in 48 whole hours, I was sent off to Promises to get better.

Nowadays, I just really enjoy cooking, doing crafts, and everything homemaker-y, but I also like dining out and boozing and such. I started this blog when I lived in Hollywood, and have since moved to Minneapolis. I stopped writing in it for a while but what I’ve come to realize is that you can be  Hollywood Homemaker no matter where you live. The idea is that you can still be really good at cooking, cleaning, and crafts, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a boring or a grandma who likes to make sweaters with puffy paint teddy bears hugging. This is a stylish take on recipes, home decor ideas, foodie news, restaurant reviews, cleaning tips, and other fun stuff. I hope you enjoy!